Strive for Gratitude

2013.  Over in a matter of hours.  This is the time when everyone pauses to reflect on the happenings of the year.  The time when one either wishes they would have done something differently, treated someone better, or smiles over the blessings the year has brought to them.  Whichever category you fall under, the result will be the same: you will most likely pledge to do better and be better in the New Year.  Those that say they don’t make resolutions really do; they are just in the form of goals throughout the year.   Isn't that all a resolution is? A goal.  

Looking back over this year, it was a typical one for us.  No event sticks out as more special than the others and no crisis was more nerve-racking than the one before it.  That is, until December 18, 2013.  More on that later. 

This year brought each of my daughter’s success in their lives as well as pain.  One is working in the “best job ever” yet it brings heartache with numerous rewards.  Being a Neonatal ICU nurse is quite extraordinary on its own but when you add in the factor that no matter how much you tell yourself that you cannot get emotionally attached to your patients and their families, you will; the job becomes even more extraordinary.  Then the sad news comes - the tiny miracle of life that should have not even survived one day outside the womb doesn’t make it – you react, you are emotionally attached.  You move on because you have to, it’s your job to take care of them and you do so with the utmost care and love. You see, she tells me, you learn the technical aspect of nursing however, no book-learning is going to teach you how to care and love, that comes from inside each of us.  I have never been more proud of her than I am today, right at this moment. 

My youngest daughter, who isn’t so young anymore – she’ll be 21 in March – is in her third year of college and it also has been a year of successes and pain.  She will tell you she is anything but special and she will tell you she isn’t smart.  I’m thinking a 4.0 doesn’t come easy in college (I know this from experience) and she is constantly wowing me with her knowledge on nearly any topic.  At times, the wow factor leaves me feeling totally stupid.

I should know more, I am older – therefore, I should know more than her.

Just proves that the more you read and listen, the more you do know.  She has a good head on her shoulders but sometimes she lets her emotions rule her.  Who doesn't do that though?!  Her newest love is a brand new car, leaving us in more debt but the knowledge that she is safely getting around makes it worth the debt.  I have never been more proud of her than I am today, right at this moment. 

I am a Mom.  I don’t take this lightly.

Being a mom isn't a job, a hobby, or a task, it’s a calling. 

A calling to love well. 

A calling to instruct their hearts. 

A calling to be present in their lives.

I get a smile as large as the largest ocean when I see the adults they are becoming.  My heart does cartwheels when they pat themselves on the back for a job well done and it also does nosedives when they are hurting and I can’t fix it with a Band-Aid. 

Before I get to hubby and myself, I can’t leave out the three four-legged children we have.  Two cats and one dog.  Start with the dog, a beagle, Charlie.  He’s lived with us for over a year.  Charlie is full of life, no - that’s a lie.  He sleeps most of the day but comes alive when hubby comes home to walk him.  Charlie really is oldest daughter’s ex’s dog as she gave Charlie to him a few years ago when they were still dating. They broke up recently and we now get visitation.  He’s best friends with Fiona, our one year old Calico cat.  They are just so cute together.  Belle, the queen of this house, doesn’t care for either of them and has made it known.  She tolerates Charlie because he’s scared of her and Fiona, well; let’s just say they will never ever be BFF’s.  Belle has been diagnosed this year with hyperthyroidism and with meds she is living the life deserved of a 17 year old feline.  

Each year I tell myself I will lose weight, exercise more and be more active.  Each year passes and now I am paying the price with taking meds that I didn't want to. It’s not permanent so I will get past this.  I've had several moments of panic and worry over situations and several moments of joy this year.   

It’s life.  I know.

This year had me continuing my work towards a bachelor’s degree.  I started the year majoring in Business Administration and ended the year changing it to Public Service.  It’s been a trial and error finding the time for studying and managing the house not to mention the family’s schedules.  Everyone has chipped in, though it seems like they only do it when I blow a few gaskets.  Studying is a full time job for me and I am not sure if it’s because I am 47 or because I am fearful of failing. 

• Failing is not an option when one quits their job to go to school when you have debts and a house payment due each month.
• Failing is not an option when your husband works hard and picks up overtime just so you can do this.
• Failing isn't an option when you are setting examples for your children to finish what you start.
• Failing isn't an option for me.

That being said, I am doing my best and along the way I have failed but I picked myself up and did better.  In fact, this semester, I joined my youngest daughter in the 4.0 club.  Changing my major did wonders for my confidence.  I was so afraid that with the boring Business degree there wouldn't be any jobs for me.  Let’s face it, office jobs are a dime a dozen, or is that a penny now.  They are common place.  Public Service will open those doors plus many more for me and it’s a better fit for my personality.  If you know me, then you know I strive to help others before I do for myself.  One of my former supervisors loved this quote and it fits me perfectly.

Three years ago my husband had a benign tumor removed from his brain.  We were so thankful that it was not cancerous and his recovery time was amazing.  It puts things into perspective and makes you realize what is important and what is just a minor bump in the road of life’s annoyances.    Each year since then, he has had clean MRI’s until this December 18^th.  There is now a pea-sized bump growing in the same spot where the tumor was removed.  The doctor doesn't know what it is or if it is anything to be concerned with at this time. 

He tells us – “don’t worry, and don’t lose any sleep over it, for now.”

Yea, so much easier to say.  He will get a MRI in April to see if it has grown any and if it has he will get radiation spot treatment.  How does one not worry? Is he going to have another seizure and if so, where will it be? Riding his bike? Driving the car? I know faith in God is supposed to take care of all things but how does one deal with the fact that God’s plan shouldn't make tumors to grow back, or for that matter have them at all.  When you lose faith, that’s the time to remind yourself it will be OK and that God is in charge.  

That’s where we are now. 

Socrates said “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”  So, this coming year I will strive to be better, to do better and be blessed with all that I am given.   I can’t say I will complain less and I will fail at many things but I will get up and do it again. When I have those moments of “why is this happening” or feeling sorry for myself I will strive to remember:  

No matter what difficulties I may be dealing with,

there is someone out there that would be willing to

walk in my shoes even just for a moment.

 I am getting better at remembering that I am of infinite worth -  no matter what others may think.  I will strive to live so that if others speak badly of me, no one will believe it.

No resolutions. Just a life plan with goals.  I will strive to have gratitude. 

For 2014, I wish you all a year full of gratitude

Priceless...

The moment when your daughter doesn't pitch a fit over money when she agrees to chip in for something...priceless

Conversations with oldest daughter

Oldest Daughter and I had a text convo today and I wanted to share it:

Oldest Daughter: I am sitting in my last college class ever.

Me: yay!!!

Me: Took a hard test today..got an 85 on it...brought my 99 avg down.

Oldest Daughter: Yeah that happens haha but it's still a good grade.

Me: Yea but it bums me out some. Oh and I get to register for classes when the "seniors" do and not the junior that I am - Sunday at midnight. hahaha

Oldest Daughter: I do not miss registration, ours was at 3am. You just have to do better at the next test to bring up average but an A is an A no matter if it's 100 or 90. And C's get degrees.

Me: thanks for the pep talk. Nice to know that you were listening all those times I told you the same thing, minus the C's get degrees. lol.

They do listen to us LOL. Made me smile and proud.

Unorganized, Insane Day

Well, I was heading to get that cup of coffee when I got distracted by my DIRTY Kitchen. So I started on a cleaning binge. When I worked, my house wasn’t spic and span all the time but it was kept up. After I quit my job, my house is still not spic and span BUT I have been deep cleaning things…cleaning closets….finishing up projects, etc. Now that I am back in school, my house is so bad. I haven’t mopped since before Christmas and sweeping the kitchen floor…OMG it needs it so bad that if I don’t do it today, I feel I may have visitors that I do not want. I have a problem organizing my time now with school. It was easy with work…you cleaned on the weekends. Bleck. When I quit, I did stuff every day so all was good. Now, I have to add the “chores” in my planner that I keep for classes. No lie. I have post it’s with what I need to do on it.

Yesterday was one of the most unorganized days I have had in months. I was so stressed that I felt my BP rise and RISE. I was supposed to have a quiz posted for World Lit….well I guess the auto upload for it failed and no quiz was posted till noon. Not that I was ready for that one…and when I saw the quiz finally…OMG…it isn’t a quiz. It’s a freakin TEST! Five essay questions that have 2 parts each. One response paper that had to be one page long.

Ok so, no quiz at first…practice test for a PowerPoint Exam…6 wrong the first time through it. Oh boy! 60 questions took me over an hour! Then off to watch a video for another class…most of these videos have been interesting – this one was not! In between all of this, I was doing 5 loads of laundry (still have 3 beds with bedding to wash.) Then, I remembered I had a doctor appt. in the afternoon. So showered for that and went to it. Two hours of study time lost there. Now the time is going on 4pm.

I finally sit down to work on quiz and it took me till 6pm to do this. I sent it. I hope I got a C. Yes, I should be more confident but I am not. I knew the play and all its themes, etc. but I do not do well on analyzing material like that. I did the practice PPT exam again and 3 wrong. Still an A so…yea. Now it’s 8pm. I think I ate yesterday.
I watched a bit of TV with hubby and then went to BED. I need to be more organized. I didn’t feel my BP go back to normal till bedtime. I laughed when the doctor said my BP was 128/something. It has been 116 since I have been on meds.

SO, today I guess I am making up for being so disorganized yesterday. Oh and Jennifer left her watch here that she needs for clinical so I need to go mail that…wasn’t on the post it!!! Darn! Hahaha.

There will be MANY more days like yesterday, this I know. Moral of the story – make margaritas to relax me while I am studying…no that’s not it…but it’s a good one though! Off I go to answer to the broom and dustpan! (Yea…I get all the fun!)

OH….grade for PPT exam today….100% (I rock!)

And...Let the FUN begin!

When I left you last, I was preparing myself to go back to college after a 20 plus year absence and I was pretty much freaking out.  Well, I still am just not as much!  I have everything I need except a working webcam which I need to use to make two videos.  Mine will work on Skype but not on it's own...yea...great.  I tried everything my technical mind could think of and used the resources of the internet as well.  My computer background is pretty good too.  SO, I will do what I do in this situation and call my DAD!  He knows everything about anything!  I will most likely have to buy an external one though.  Sigh.  

I have a very full load to carry this semester and everyone thinks I can do this but me. Guess I need to get on the train with them, eh?!  Last night was my first night of class in the classroom (since all other classes are online) and I have to tell you I was pretty nervous almost to the point of wanting to throw up.  But as my wonderfully brilliant daughter (whom I called to get a pep talk from) told me, "if you puke now, that tuna salad sandwich you had for lunch will not be pretty the second time and you will stink. Not a good first impression, Mom."  TOLD you she was brilliant!  I did not throw up the tuna.  I went in to class and for an hour and 15 minutes I listened the Professor talk about World Lit and what she expected from us.  She was cool.  She had an accent from the Caribbean thrown in with a bit of British.  I have to tell you, I read the chapter we were to read AND if you were to ask me to tell you what I read, I would have to shoot you.  It was in one eye and forgotten.  The Professor made this subject come alive, fun and I wanted to read it like she was telling us about it.  Drama, Love, Soap Operas, etc.  I sure hope I can, that will help writing all those papers she wants us to do.  

Yes, when the hour was up I was breathing normal and left for home.  I have tons to do for all the classes and if I organize myself I can do this...yes I can.

Now, for my oldest daughter's advice (see this post for that blog)

• Bring either a bookbag or a purse, not both.   - Brought a purse
• bring mechanical pencils - forgot the pencil but had a pen (didn't need a pencil!)
• old people your age sit in the front because they can't see or hear well 
• best seat to sit in is the sides, 3rd row  - sat in the back as it was the only row available when I got there, 10 min early even!
• if you have classes with desks that have the arm desk you pull up...you're screwed because you're left handed.  bring your computer - sat at computer tables
• make friends fast because old people aren't usually picked for groups quickly unless the younger people like you - made a friend!
• you have an advantage because you know how to use technology...some old people don't - found this to be true with one of the younger ones there!

SO...there you have it, my first day of class.  I survived, I was fine, it will be OK.  Breathing again.  

Anniversary of a Tumor

Last evening I asked my husband what he wanted to do for his birthday this Friday and he just shook his head and said I don't know.  I got to thinking about his upcoming birthday and realized that next month will be one year since he had a seizure and brain surgery to remove a non-cancerous tumor.  How lucky we are that he is here to celebrate another birthday.  How lucky am I to have him here to complain to and about at times.  I still think about that day when he he had his seizure and how it could have been so much worse.  He had it at home, on the couch and not in a car driving or on his bike, which he JUST finished riding that day.

God was watching over him for sure and all through the ordeal.  I re-learned how powerful prayer is that month as well.  Friends were putting him on prayer lists at their churches, my facebook friends sent out prayer chains online and of course we had the support of family.  During that same time, my grandmother passed away as well so it was an extra stressful time as well. I wasn't able to help my mom with the funeral and her estate as my husband was having brain surgery.

I have been with my husband for over 31 years...married for 26 of them.  We have been together since we were 14...and still going strong.  I remember when he was having the seizure, I yelled to him that he wasn't allowed to leave me as we weren't done being together yet...and we aren't.

Taking down the Tree and reliving the memories

It's time, again, to take Christmas and wrap it back up in the boxes until next time.  Our tree is filled with ornaments that were handmade or have sentimental value.  We also have an ornament for each year...we are missing a few but for the most part they are there. I have several that the girls made throughout their childhood and in girls scouts, each one reminding me of them at that particular age.  Others were made my mother when she was big into cross stitching on plastic canvas.  I also have quite a few that were my grandparents that hung on my parent's tree when I was I growing up...makes me remember the times with them.  Of course, there are new ones that we have acquired over the years and from gifts.  Each one has a memory and when I put them up I recall those memories and smile.

Today, when I was taking the ornaments off the tree I held each one and thought of all the memories they had and wondered if my girls would do that when they have homes and trees of their own. They don't seem interested in assisting in the decorating of the tree or house and when I remind them of an ornament, they tend to listen but their mind is not there.

Does their generation not care about the history of their family or the memories of it all?  Are they too into their technology to stop and think about the past?

I guess I am being sentimental today.  Heck, I have been that way since Valerie started college.  Empty nest is still in full swing.

Later this month, I will be taking on the task of clearing out some boxes of items that I saved from their school years.  Organizing them and protecting them a bit better than they are.  I guarantee I will be using some tissues and will be texting or calling the girls to say...Remember this....OR...I can't believe we saved this...

Reliving memories is what keeps our history alive...I hope my girls do the same to their families in the future.

Taking down the Tree and reliving the memories

It's time, again, to take Christmas and wrap it back up in the boxes until next time.  Our tree is filled with ornaments that were handmade or have sentimental value.  We also have an ornament for each year...we are missing a few but for the most part they are there. I have several that the girls made throughout their childhood and in girls scouts, each one reminding me of them at that particular age.  Others were made my mother when she was big into cross stitching on plastic canvas.  I also have quite a few that were my grandparents that hung on my parent's tree when I was I growing up...makes me remember the times with them.  Of course, there are new ones that we have acquired over the years and from gifts.  Each one has a memory and when I put them up I recall those memories and smile.

Today, when I was taking the ornaments off the tree I held each one and thought of all the memories they had and wondered if my girls would do that when they have homes and trees of their own. They don't seem interested in assisting in the decorating of the tree or house and when I remind them of an ornament, they tend to listen but their mind is not there. At least that is what I think.  I have to admit throughout the years they have listened and even brought up memories on their own.

Treasure your memories and share them often....they do listen.

Does their generation not care about the history of their family or the memories of it all?  Are they too into their technology to stop and think about the past?

I guess I am being sentimental today.  Heck, I have been that way since Valerie started college.  Empty nest is still in full swing.

Later this month, I will be taking on the task of clearing out some boxes of items that I saved from their school years.  Organizing them and protecting them a bit better than they are.  I guarantee I will be using some tissues and will be texting or calling the girls to say...Remember this....OR...I can't believe we saved this...

There is something about taking the tree down that reminds me

Full House vs. Peace and Quiet

When my girls were teens, our house was not THE place to be. We didn't have a gaming system, pool table, or game room, etc - All of which were the "in" items among Jennifer's friends. Jennifer also did not like me (at times, I wasn't overly fond of her either) and so she didn't spend a lot of her time at the house with her friends over. There were times when she did though and one of them is like family now. Valerie, on the other hand, seemed to be 50-50 with this. I got to know most of her friends and they became part of the family. It got to be quiet at times in the house when no child at all was home.

Off to college, Jennifer went and when she came home she brought boyfriend and dog and sometimes a friend too. Since the two (boyfriend and Jennifer LOL) aren't married they do not sleep in the same room. SO that left Jennifer on the couch with the dog. Valerie always had someone (or two) spending the night so it was a busy place here. Noise was above what I was used to and so was the clutter of belongings. I felt like I had "company" in my house and I had to do this and that but that stopped fast when I realized, heck, it was my own kids!

Fast forward to Valerie in college now...we have just Mark, the cat and me in the house. So quiet. So peaceful. So oddly weird. So boring. So blah. So relaxing. You get the drift. Once a month we make the trip to pick up Valerie for a long weekend here and there and it's back to a houseful of kids. Valerie usually will have anywhere from one to three friends over and staying most of the time she is home. They go back and forth between the houses and I never know how many will be at mealtimes so I usually tell them what is for dinner and they will tell me if they will be here. Or I order pizza OR they make tacos. Sometimes they tell us they are eating elsewhere. It works out one way or another.

Now this Christmas break, I have had Jennifer, boyfriend, dog, Valerie, and 3 of her friends here ALL. THE. TIME. I am SO looking for that quiet, peace, relaxing and alone time. I can't stand the clutter, this and that out place. I am not, by any means, OCD, BUT..it is driving me crazy. They are HOME so yes they should feel like they can BE at home. Their rooms are cluttered just as if they were still living here...floor is barely there with all the stuff over it. Doors are nice to close, aren't they. They use dishes for everything and yes, they do put them in the sink. They do help in the kitchen at times. In fact, Jennifer and bf are cooking dinner tomorrow night. The dog will chew on things when left alone in the house for too long...good thing nothing he chewed on was mine! The cat and the dog do not like each other so Belle stays upstairs most of the time.

I look back and wonder if my house was one the places all the kids hung out if now I wouldn't care about the clutter, etc. I don't know and I am not stressing over it either. I know just as soon as next week comes and they ALL go back to college/their houses I will be missing them all like crazy. The clutter included. Well, maybe not the clutter.

My house will go back to quiet moments, and I will be thinking ahead to the next time they are all here.

Christmas Stress

Every so often I get frustrated with my family. I am sure we all do. It just seems like through out the year they don't appreciate what I do for them (not talking about the every day things) BUT at Christmas, you would think they would see I need help with all the traditional things we do and the shopping, wrapping, etc. Never fails, I do it all. Mark's answer when I say I have this and that and this and that to do is "don't do it. " Meaning, it's ok not to. BUT heaven forbid if I forget to do this or that. One child said she would help make cookies...I have rarely seen her since she came home. The other child when she comes home is really here to rest...she has it tough in nursing school plus a job. So I do really feel bad asking her to help. BUT the way I see it, is this...they should be asking me what they can do to help. I shouldn't have to ask for it, or rather beg for it.

I seriously love the Holidays but this is getting old. I am getting old and tired. Yes I said old. I won't admit that anywhere else. So far, no cookies are made.

Every year I say, "Next year I am not doing this."

I still do. Bah Humbug.

yada, yada, yada

Ok so today not so good on the eating or exercising but I am pooped. Spent the day moving Jennifer into her new place and no one, or two but three trips to Lowe's and I still have stuff to take back there that I brought home with me. I wasn't gonna go for four trips. I will start fresh tomorrow. I have a lot of things to move and clean in her room in my house...we are giving the bed to a friend and maybe moving the home gym contraption that is in the garage sitting pretty upstairs. Although, hubby is wondering if the floor will hold it and all the weights he bought for it....good question to ask now before we move it.

I have this irritating dry cough from this stupid HBP meds...the doc said it would be a side effect and it would bother others more than me...hell it bothers me a lot.

The day my Mother asked to be my Friend....on Facebook

My kids both had Facebook accounts long before I did. I asked to see them from time to time making sure no pedophiles were their "friends" or they weren't doing anything that they weren't supposed to do. I did the same when they had Myspace.  I did have one of those and they didn't add me and I didn't add them.  We were all like " no way are you gonna see what I have on there."  I played my Mom card well though and monitored them every so often.  I did let them see mine too, I really didn't have anything to hide - it was the principle!  


Well, I joined the Facebook craze to find old friends and such.  My youngest added me to her friends' list but the oldest not so much.  It was invading her college life now! I was indeed enjoying getting re-acquainted with old friends from school and past military bases we were stationed at.  I accepted requests from some of my husband's family too.  My oldest kept telling me it was just wrong for me to have this, of course she said the same about Myspace too.  It was nice to be able to chat with the friends from long ago in real time and I even added some of my co-workers.  Which, for some was a mistake because when I wanted to put up a status like "OMG Some people seriously need to grow up, I would like to point out that immaturity is not attractive in adults...pull up your panties and deal ..." - I couldn't without them asking if it was about them.  It's not always about you, idiot.  


I soon got notifications to play various games and my kids made fun of me for having that farm of course but hey, I was doing  my thing and not bothering them.  Besides it was a bit of a stress reliever from those idiots.  Then one day, in my notifications was a friend request from my oldest daughter.  I had to rub my eyes and look again to see if it was real.  Oh it was there still! I moved the mouse cursor to accept and then backed away.  I hesitated...there was a motive for this.  I called her and asked her. She said it was fine because she hid everything she didn't want me to see...well then what's the point of adding me,geez.  I laughed and accepted her.  It took her two years before I was "invited" to see everything or rather more of what she let me LOL.  


I remember telling my mom about Facebook and the games (she is a big online gamer lol) Then came the mother of all notifications...MY OWN MOTHER!  OMG...no no no...now what was I to do. Yes I am adult but there are somethings I don't want my mother to comment on! Oh geez.  Ok OK OK... I added her but I sure was skeptical.  She would comment and it was odd...she doesn't put statuses up and her gaming posts bug me but I am sure some of mine bug others too.  I learned how to not but others though and not let hers bug me LOL.  I do watch what I post because if I put this as my status - "Some people make me understand why monkeys throw their poo." - she will call me to ask me what's wrong.  Sometimes I just put stuff up and nothing is wrong LOL.


I could so relate to my girls hesitating to add me into their Facebook lives. But it's cool.  Even their friends add me and the girls tell me "OMG that's embarrassing" LOL.  To that I simply say,


Hey, I'm Awesome - Deal with it.

My First Time....

Eating Sushi! (What were you thinking this was about!!)

Sushi = raw
That has been my impression forever.  I mean it's the view you see at the grocery store sushi counter, on TV show, and just about anywhere else - or so I thought.

As my children were growing up, I made various meals (not sushi) for them and they would try just about everything I made.  They had very distinct opinions on what they did and didn't like.  So you can imagine that I didn't make what they didn't like too often. When I did, they would try it again.  Hit or miss again.  I never stopped them from trying new things when we went out, they just chose to order what they knew they liked.  So fast forward to when Jennifer starts college. On her own. Choosing and cooking her own meals.  All of a sudden, I have "sheltered" her from trying new things...liking new foods.  Haha! Same has been for Valerie, she will tell me she tried this or that at a friends and likes it now.  Well, clue me in so I can enjoy it too, geez!

Anyway, sushi is something Jennifer has fallen in love with and has been pestering me to try it with her.  My protests were exactly like hers in the past when I was encouraging her to try lima beans or wild rice.  Eww..no way.  I finally promised her I would try it.  Anyone who knows me, knows I don't promise things lightly and I follow through.  My girls know this and count on it.

Of we go to Sushi Thai last night.  I tell her I want my sushi cooked and she told me "I' got ya covered, Ma." I'm a bit scared now....nervous too.  We look at the menu...this stuff is not cheap but it is very pretty to look at!  She tells me I want to order the Gigi Roll. I looked at the description...marinated chicken in teriyaki sauce with asparagus.  That's it...that's what I want!!! Yes...I can eat sushi without gagging or puking.  Jennifer orders the Bruce Lee Roll (shrimp, crab, spicy mayo, caviar and seaweed.  Ewww nasty.  I dislike most seafood. We also order some Spring Rolls...those I like - a lot. Back up plan!

We get the Spring Rolls and they were out of this world wonderful!

Out comes our sushi after that...Jennifer's is so very pretty and very appetizing! Mine not so much...BUT it is cooked and foods I like.  She tells me you have to stick the whole piece in your mouth to get the full effect.  I am like, are you kidding, not my first time. So I break some off and bring it to my mouth...first thing I notice is a FISHY smell.

Gigi Roll

"Jennifer - there is something fishy here"
"no mom (laughing hard), there isn't."
"what's this green stuff?"
"seaweed, it's in all sushi"
"SEAWEED....well they didn't wash it or something cause it smells like the ocean"
"try it mom"
"ok"


I put the stuff in my mouth and while I didn't gag, I sure as hell wanted too! It was not good! AND I still smelled the fishy whatever.  I ate one more...the way she told me too...the whole thing in mouth to see if it would change my opinion. NOPE.

"Jennifer, I can't eat this, it's not good"
"try mine"
"ok, why not"

Bruce Lee Roll

I try hers and it was good...not great but good.  AND NO FISHY smell or taste, despite the shrimp and crab and seaweed. I guess her seaweed was washed!  The spicy mayo was very good.  So I had a couple more of hers and she tried mine. She didn't like it either.




We ended up bringing home mine just because the waitress was so very nice and worried I wasn't going to like anything (she could tell it was "my first time.") It sits in the refrigerator..it will go in the trash today.

Will I go again, sure.  They had a ton of other options there.  Actually, we are going again Sunday and taking Valerie so she can be a little less sheltered too.

Bored??? Heck NO

For being unemployed, I am exhausted! My husband came home today from work and asked me if I was bored today. "BORED" - haha. There may be only two of us in this house lately but ONE of us forgot how to pick up things. No I wasn't bored, Honey. Actually, I rather enjoyed myself today with all the errands, cleaning and laundry. Someone, QUICK, feel my forehead...I MUST have a fever!

I am rather glad hubby went back to work today...he's been home since Friday. I was getting a bit annoyed with him LOL. Jennifer is coming home tomorrow and should be home until Sunday. It will be nice to have her here as I miss both girls. I just have to let her know upfront, I am not picking up after you or your dog! Oy Vey.

I miss both girls - I don't know, I don't think I am cut out to be an empty nester. Yeah, you say I will get used to it...I'll get back to you on that. After I graduated with my AAS degree I went to work for about a year and so and then had Jennifer. I quit and stayed home to be with her, loved it, loved it! Along came Valerie, two and a half years later and still I was home. When Jennifer was old enough for preschool, she went and I put Val in daycare while I went back to school to work on my BA. Didn't get far but still I went. I volunteered (LOVED IT) on the base when Hubby went to Korea for a year and was still with my girls.

We moved to GA soon (2 weeks) after he got back from Korea and the girls were about 11 and 9 then. A year after we were here, the dentist said they both needed braces. Money is needed for that! So I went on a hunt for a job. A job! Eleven years of staying home! The hours I had with my job were perfect for my girls and me. I left after they got on the bus and was home when they got off the bus! I loved that I was the first person to hear about their day when they got home. Of course through the years the hours changed and I may not have been the first but they would call me to tell me about their day. It was the best part of my day.

Now that Jennifer is in college, she will call me and tell me about her day or week...it's great. She texts me often too. Now, Valerie, she is gonna have to step it up a notch. The girl has been in FL with a friend and her family since Thursday and unless I text/call her, she doesn't. I told her - this isn't gonna cut it when you go to college...you can't just cut me off cold turkey!! LOL. She cracks me up.

Ok..I have no freakin idea where I was going with this. None. Nada. Nothing. I guess my point is - I am not bored, I am not a maid, and I will get used to being Home alone with no kids hehehe.

Oh yea...funny part and if you ever repeat this, I will deny deny deny. hahahaha Remember the movie Failure to Launch? Remember the naked room? Well...my husband asked me which room would be the naked room once Valerie left! I thought OMG LOL. Seems like a good point to stop with this rattling!!!

The day the Opossum came to visit

Time for a good laugh.

Go back to about 1988 and in Blytheville, Arkansas....

Mark and I were married about 3 years at this time and he was stationed at the Air Force base there and at this time we were living in a trailer...it was a very nice one...it actually had the prefab curtains (very very nice ones!) and it came mostly furnished.  We had our own stuff so whatever we didn't need the landlord removed.  The trailer was a 3 bedroom and it was just us two but the price was perfect for us.  The master bedroom was at the front of the trailer with the living room and front door next to that and then the kitchen and the rest of the place.  At this particular time, Mark was working swing shift and usually went to the gym afterwards and would be home about 1:00 am.  I was in college at the time and had exams the next day so I went to bed.  I don't know what time it was but I woke to hearing this scratching noise and thought it was Mark coming in scratching the wall to find the light switch.  When I called out "Hey you're home early" and got no response except for more scratching I got out of bed and went to the bedroom door and turned the light on in the living room....saw this HUGE Fuzzy Thing...did I mention HUGE! I screamed and it just looked at me from the middle of the living room.  I jumped on the couch which was two feet from where I was standing.  I screamed more.  The Fuzzy thing looked at me more intensely.  I screamed and saw the phone...way way way WAY across the room. I jumped on the coffee table...and screamed again.  The Fuzzy Thing now looked at me and I swear it was smiling and it was saying "See my sharp teeth" I knew I did not want to touch the floor at all costs.  I was much skinnier in those days and more apt to be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Ok...it was a leap over the other side of the room to the chair.  I did just that.  The Fuzzy Thing ran to my bedroom.  OMG I was dying.  I called the gym and asked to speak to Airman Kerhin, I told them he was probably in the racketball courts.  He comes on the phone and below is the conversation we had (yes I remember this VERBATIM):

Mark:  Hello

Me; YOU NEED TO COME HOME NOW.  THERE IS A FUZZY HUGE THING IN MY HOUSE AND I WANT IT GONE NOW

Mark: Calm down, it's just a mouse

(we have had field mice in the house, I know what one looks like and I have caught several)

Me: IT IS NOT A MOUSE.  COME HOME NOW. ITS HUGE.  BIG. GET IT OUT.

Mark: ok ok I am on my way.

 

So I jump my way back to the couch and to the front door.  I grabbed Mark's jacket and tennis shoes (size 10) and sat outside in the chilly winter Arkansas air...it was about 35 lol.

About 20 min later, Mark comes home and asks why I am outside in the cold.  I said, "cause there is a HUGE FREAKIN FUZZY THING IN MY HOUSE"

He slowly opens the door and the words from his mouth were "oh shit, what the hell"

Uh huh, tell me it is a field mouse now.

He comes out about 5 min later with this Huge Fuzzy Thing in a laundry basket and by this time I am now sitting in the car with the doors locked LOL.

He takes the Thing over and lets him loose behind the fenced in field.  I get out of the car and asked him what it was ...he tells me it was an opossum.  I said Holy crap!  Upon our investigation, we found were it came in.  The landlord was working on our bathtub piped earlier and had taken the skirt off of the trailer.  If you know how trailers are set up, you know that in one of the bedroom closets near the bathroom was a panel and behind it was the pipes...the pipe that comes in from outside was not covered and you could see outside...and it was big enough for the Huge Fuzzy Thing to get in and visit me.  Also, if you know anything about trailers, they have huge storm windows that you place over the windows in the colder weather.  Well, we took one and barricaded us in so to speak.

The next day, Mark was due to go TDY for the Air Force, he would be gone for a couple of weeks.  I was not going to spend another night in this place until the landlord fixed the hole and put the skirt back on.  So that day and night, I stayed at our friends' house.  The landlord fixed everything and I was back in...but you can bet I barricaded myself in at night until Mark came home LOL.

Tell me about a critter you have had in your house!

 

Conversations of the strange

My daughter and I have some strange conversations together.  At times, she is quick to save them in her phone for future use on her Tumblr blog.  I am glad I can be some source of inspiration (entertainment) for her.  So I thought I would share a couple of them.

Location - Kroger (yesterday)

Aisle - pasta and soup

Valerie proceeds to pick up two packages of Chili Ramen Noodles and it appears she is picking up a third (she has acid reflux so I try to limit her spicy intake)

Me: You better not be picking up three, two is enough.  If you do, I'll put one back

Val: Oh I'm shaking in my Keds now Mom

Me: Yea...darn tootin you are!

A few months ago:

Val: do you have friends?

Me: yep I've got all 10 seasons.

She laughed for a good long time with that one.

You got me what??

I wasn't sure I was going to blog this but it's good for a laugh, now that I can laugh about it that is. As most of you know, yesterday was my birthday.  I had a fabulous lunch with my good friend Elane (we missed our other good friend, Tracye though)  and my parents called to wish me happy birthday so it was nice to talk to them for a bit.  I got home and Valerie had made a wonderful cake, and had gifts.  Jennifer's gift she left before she went to Costa Rica was here too.  Hubby had his gift and a card with these other gifts.  Valerie gave me 3 CDs she burned for me that I had wanted.  More on the the Katy Perry one later!!!!!  She also got me a nice smelly candle.  Jennifer is the one who gave me the huge margarita glass and a note that she would bring me something back.  Both girls had funny cards too.

Well. Mark's gift.  Well. There was bag of Swedish Fish (candy) with a card.  I looked around thinking there was something else somewhere. Didn't see a blessed thing.  I looked at the card...which was telling me I was OLD. Like I needed reminded and from my husband no less!  I looked at the fish and here is the conversation that followed:

I said "you got me Swedish fish, huh?"

He said "well they didn't have the gummy bears you like"

Me:  fish, huh

Him: It's a five pound bag!!

Me: yes it is. Let's have cake, it looks wonderful

We ate cake and it was so yummy.  I kept thinking, he really didn't just get me a freakin bag of candy did he!! Oh yes he did!  No really he didn't!! Stupid, he did!! After cake, he fell asleep on the couch, now mind you I had to go back to work in a bit and we tend to use the break on the nights I work to catch up because I work late and he tends to be asleep when I come home.  So I am on facebook thanking all my wonderful friends for the birthday wishes while he snoring away.

I wake him up when it is time for me to go and said "did you really not know what to get me that you had to get a bag of candy?" He said, "what do you get the girl that has everything!" Everything hell.  I said, the new Danielle Steel book, or the last three of them!

I went to work, a bit upset, hurt and mad.  As the night went on of course it all became better but I am still in a bit of shock!  I came home early and we talked a bit and then I showed him what Elane got me...a little black apron (it is sooo stinkin cute!!!) I will have to take a picture of it LOL.  This is the conversation that followed:

Me: look, it's a little black apron...you know a take on the little black dress.  It's got the pearl necklace and lace too.

Him: so what you're saying is, She got you a  better gift than me

Me: Yes! She did!

Him: hmm...so what you're saying is, I didn't do well in the gift dept this year

Me: it's a bag of candy for your wife's birthday.  Candy down here, little black apron up here.

Him: wanna go fool around? wink wink.

So there you have it.  I can't stay upset with him for nothing for long.

Have you ever received a gift from your spouse/partner that you just were so disappointed with the amount of thought that went into it??   Please don't get me wrong, I appreciate my husband remembering the day and I do like Swedish Fish hehehe but....

Church...to go or not and other thoughts

There are a few subjects that I tend to steer clear of when I post comments and when I do comment on those touchy subjects I do so very firmly.  I don't like conflict but I can hold my own if there is any.  Politics, abortions, one's sexual preference, and religion.  Yep.  All hot topics.  Everyone has their own opinions and some think it's the only opinion to have and if you don't have it, then you are a bad person.  I am not like that.  I think the next few blogs will be about my stand on these touchy subjects.  If you choose to comment and share your opinions, please remember this - it is your opinion just as I have mine.  Right or wrong.

Tonight, I think I will start with religion.  I believe in God. My whole being does.  From the time I was young I loved reading Bible stories and every night I would read one.  Sundays and Wednesdays were church days. I loved the church I belonged to growing up.  My parents weren't church goers but they never stopped me from going and went with me when I asked.  It wasn't that they didn't "have religion" because they both come from strong religious backgrounds.  I really never knew or thought to ask why they didn't, I just knew they supported me.  I stopped going to the church when I was in high school and I didn't really go back to one until my girls were about 7 & 9.  Once I got married,  Mark and I went to several churches and didn't find one that fit us so we just didn't go.  When he went overseas for a year, the girls and I  were invited to the church on base and we loved it.  It felt like family there.  They supported us and every week during the praise and prayer session, the girls would ask everyone to pray for their daddy who was in Korea.  They all "knew" him before he was even back.  Once he came home and went with us, he understood what we felt.  Well, as the military does, once you get used to something, they move you.  We moved to GA and haven't really  found another church that feels welcoming as that one in FL did.  So we stopped going but when invited to other's churches we go...because I know there is one out there for us.

Now that you have a bit of background, let me say this...

Some people believe you have to go to church to worship God. They also say you aren't a true Christian if you don't go to church. I do not understand that.  God is everywhere, so I can worship him anywhere I choose to.  I don't need a congregation to worship with me.  What I say to Him is my business.  I will admit, the closeness of the church family is awesome but if I can't find that again, I am OK.  I am sure I will.   So if you have to go church to worship God, what's with all the TV church shows, which is a whole other blog topic! I pray all the time...God knows my worries, my triumphs and He gives me the kick or boost I need when I need it.

Some people believe their chosen religion is the ONLY one to believe.  That's their right.  Please don't force it on me.  You are more than welcome to believe what you believe...that is what our military has fought for...freedom to believe what religion you want.  This brings me to the Muslim faith.  Not all who believe the Muslim faith are bad people.  I am sorry but so many people have been persecuted for their faith just because of who they are throughout history.  Not every German was bad.  Not every Muslim is a terrorist and they should not be treated like they are.  Those that are, yes indeed.  I totally understood it after 9/11 of course, we didn't know what was happening or who to trust but we need to remember that our God has got us covered.  I have students at the college I work at that are of all cultures and religions..it is a melting pot.  I listen to them and their stories and sometimes I am appalled at us - us meaning the World.  We Suck at times.  Anyway, my point is, your faith is yours.

I am a Christian. I am saved as is my family.  We know that God will take care of us forever.  That is all I need.

 

Graduation

It's official.  I have no children in high school.  I have two in college now.  The end of May was my youngest's high school graduation.  It was just one more milestone in our lives that was both joyous and bittersweet.  Both sets of grandparents came in for the event as well as friends.  There was a new dress, shoes, and cake invited to the day. Pictures galore were taken and by the end of the session the tired smiles appeared.  You know the ones..."hurry up and take the freakin picture" smile.  Those were mainly done by the graduate.

One thing I noticed with this daughter's graduation was the comments from my older daughter who on that very stage as her sister was walking across she did so three years  before that.  Her comments were sweet...something I wasn't expecting I guess.  I cried as I did three years ago and was so happy for my baby...who by the way graduated with honors (21st in her class of 369.) She looked beautiful but also very relieved to be done with high school.  I wonder if she knows college is school too!  hehehe.

You can say I graduated that day as well.  It sank in that she is going to be leaving the nest in two months.  Not that she won't still need me (and my money) but that she will have to make decisions as an adult and without permission of her parents in some cases (not with my money!) It sank in that I will not be able to call her and say "let's go to the movies" or "what do you want for dinner."  It also sank in that she won' t be a room away when I want to borrow a CD or need her help with something on the computer.   It occurred to me that I was being selfish.  Well. Yes. I. Am. I did after all bring her into this world.

Today she drove to the college she has been accepted for Freshman Orientation.  This, too, was another graduation.  You see, until today, she has never driven on the interstate alone.  Usually someone was in the car with her and it wasn't on I-75 that does straight through Atlanta, where there is rarely a good time to drive to.  We routed the drive, had GPS and Google maps printed.  She was confident and I was a wreck. Back in April, she drove us to the same college for a tour and almost killed us...for real, no exaggeration. She learned from that she said.  I still was a major train wreck.  I prayed and tried to let God take it all but you know what, a mom's worry just doesn't stop.  She got there safely and I thanked God.  Funny thing was the GPS took her on back roads and it was less traffic and about 20 min faster.  God's hand in that one I say.

So she will be there till tomorrow afternoon, where at that time I will again be a train wreck of worry till she is home safely.  We have texted a bit tonight and it seems to be going good.  She did say she got a crappy dorm room LOL.  I can't figure that out though, we were one of the first to apply for housing said the housing office and they assure her that she would get her first or second choice but had to put a third.  She got the third. She will check into that tomorrow.

Empty nest hit this afternoon when I realized when I got home from work, she was not going to be home. This is not unusual as she often has plans and such but it made me think - this is what it will be like when she leaves for college.  I didn't like it.  I will get used to it I know.  When the oldest left, I was relieved as our relationship was strained and it was a break we both needed. Now we are very close and I love it. I don't want to lose the closeness I have with youngest daughter.

This summer will be a summer of Graduations for me.  Gosh. I am growing up too. hahaha.

If you had children that left the nest, how did you deal with the empty nest feeling?

 

 

Parenting...never over.

Not that I am complaining because being a parent has to be one of the top things to be in this world.  I wouldn't trade that job for all the tea in China or all the gold in the world.  When you are handed that bundle of joy you are glued for life.  Good, bad, happy or sad...you are a parent for life.

You never get a break...a vacation...or even a moment that you aren't a parent.  Even when  you carve out time for yourself, does your mind really turn off from being a parent?

I hear sometimes that parents turn their backs on their children for whatever reason.  Really? How? Because even when I am so angry I couldn't possibly do that.

I don't even know wishing for a moment that I wasn't a parent would be fun.  I think it would suck.

All that being said.  I do get tired of being "Mom." There I said it.  It doesn't mean I don't want to be one, just exhausted.  Yet, just in the second it took to type that I am back to being Mom.

Life goes on...and I have two awesome daughters.