Conversations with oldest daughter

Oldest Daughter and I had a text convo today and I wanted to share it:

Oldest Daughter: I am sitting in my last college class ever.

Me: yay!!!

Me: Took a hard test today..got an 85 on it...brought my 99 avg down.

Oldest Daughter: Yeah that happens haha but it's still a good grade.

Me: Yea but it bums me out some. Oh and I get to register for classes when the "seniors" do and not the junior that I am - Sunday at midnight. hahaha

Oldest Daughter: I do not miss registration, ours was at 3am. You just have to do better at the next test to bring up average but an A is an A no matter if it's 100 or 90. And C's get degrees.

Me: thanks for the pep talk. Nice to know that you were listening all those times I told you the same thing, minus the C's get degrees. lol.

They do listen to us LOL. Made me smile and proud.

Teenage Battles

I watched an episode of Dr. Phil yesterday...rare that I do but I was folding laundry and put the TV on. He had this 17 yr. old on there from hell. She was horrible to EVERYONE, language, drugs, sex, threatening parents and others, BIG anger problem, OMG she made me angry and made me cry! Her parents were doing the best they could I suppose after YEARS of just GIVING IN to her to save fits, issues, problems, etc. Father is a cop and he more than anyone else should know what happens to teens who lead this kind of life and he was like "she is going to go missing one day and never come back" Daughter said and I quote "maybe that's what it will take for me to learn my lesson" OMG...I was like, yea last lesson you will learn! She turns 18 in 8 weeks so they can't legally kick her out till then. Dr. Phil wants to send her to some boot camp place and she was like NO not going to go. She did admit she has an anger problem and doesn't like that she can't control it. Phil told parents he will get a transporter to send her there as she was still underage and they parents had the say. They are sending here there...I sure hope it works. 

I had issues with my oldest from ages 10-15....it was horrible. She wanted out of the house – my heart broke at that thought but a few times I wanted her to go too - yet neither of us did anything about that. We argued, yelled and oh it was bad. She hated me, I didn't like her much. I never gave up on her. Anyway, we got through it and now we are close. When I watched this, I immediately with tears in my eyes sent a text to my girls (both were in class or I would have called) that said how much I loved them and how proud of them I was. 

Tell your kids often that you love them and how much they mean to you...they need to hear it even if they never say it to you.

Are you listening??

Well...................................wouldn't ya just know it...my girls taught me a lesson and they don't even know it. Practice what you preach! I tell them all the time when they get like I am now (overwhelmed, negative vibes galore, wanna puke feeling, etc) - You will be fine, make a schedule, positive thinking, it won't be easy but you can do it. 

I am giving myself 30 min on here and then I am going to sit down and take one class, one assignment at a time and make me a schedule. All day I have been giving myself excuses and things to do, grocery shop, cleaning, lunch with hubby . Valerie told me today, "You have to force yourself to stick to a schedule...don't be like your daughter and procrastinate." She was referring to herself. 

At least I know they "hear" what I tell them all these years!

Taking down the Tree and reliving the memories

It's time, again, to take Christmas and wrap it back up in the boxes until next time.  Our tree is filled with ornaments that were handmade or have sentimental value.  We also have an ornament for each year...we are missing a few but for the most part they are there. I have several that the girls made throughout their childhood and in girls scouts, each one reminding me of them at that particular age.  Others were made my mother when she was big into cross stitching on plastic canvas.  I also have quite a few that were my grandparents that hung on my parent's tree when I was I growing up...makes me remember the times with them.  Of course, there are new ones that we have acquired over the years and from gifts.  Each one has a memory and when I put them up I recall those memories and smile.

Today, when I was taking the ornaments off the tree I held each one and thought of all the memories they had and wondered if my girls would do that when they have homes and trees of their own. They don't seem interested in assisting in the decorating of the tree or house and when I remind them of an ornament, they tend to listen but their mind is not there.

Does their generation not care about the history of their family or the memories of it all?  Are they too into their technology to stop and think about the past?

I guess I am being sentimental today.  Heck, I have been that way since Valerie started college.  Empty nest is still in full swing.

Later this month, I will be taking on the task of clearing out some boxes of items that I saved from their school years.  Organizing them and protecting them a bit better than they are.  I guarantee I will be using some tissues and will be texting or calling the girls to say...Remember this....OR...I can't believe we saved this...

Reliving memories is what keeps our history alive...I hope my girls do the same to their families in the future.

Taking down the Tree and reliving the memories

It's time, again, to take Christmas and wrap it back up in the boxes until next time.  Our tree is filled with ornaments that were handmade or have sentimental value.  We also have an ornament for each year...we are missing a few but for the most part they are there. I have several that the girls made throughout their childhood and in girls scouts, each one reminding me of them at that particular age.  Others were made my mother when she was big into cross stitching on plastic canvas.  I also have quite a few that were my grandparents that hung on my parent's tree when I was I growing up...makes me remember the times with them.  Of course, there are new ones that we have acquired over the years and from gifts.  Each one has a memory and when I put them up I recall those memories and smile.

Today, when I was taking the ornaments off the tree I held each one and thought of all the memories they had and wondered if my girls would do that when they have homes and trees of their own. They don't seem interested in assisting in the decorating of the tree or house and when I remind them of an ornament, they tend to listen but their mind is not there. At least that is what I think.  I have to admit throughout the years they have listened and even brought up memories on their own.

Treasure your memories and share them often....they do listen.

Does their generation not care about the history of their family or the memories of it all?  Are they too into their technology to stop and think about the past?

I guess I am being sentimental today.  Heck, I have been that way since Valerie started college.  Empty nest is still in full swing.

Later this month, I will be taking on the task of clearing out some boxes of items that I saved from their school years.  Organizing them and protecting them a bit better than they are.  I guarantee I will be using some tissues and will be texting or calling the girls to say...Remember this....OR...I can't believe we saved this...

There is something about taking the tree down that reminds me

Full House vs. Peace and Quiet

When my girls were teens, our house was not THE place to be. We didn't have a gaming system, pool table, or game room, etc - All of which were the "in" items among Jennifer's friends. Jennifer also did not like me (at times, I wasn't overly fond of her either) and so she didn't spend a lot of her time at the house with her friends over. There were times when she did though and one of them is like family now. Valerie, on the other hand, seemed to be 50-50 with this. I got to know most of her friends and they became part of the family. It got to be quiet at times in the house when no child at all was home.

Off to college, Jennifer went and when she came home she brought boyfriend and dog and sometimes a friend too. Since the two (boyfriend and Jennifer LOL) aren't married they do not sleep in the same room. SO that left Jennifer on the couch with the dog. Valerie always had someone (or two) spending the night so it was a busy place here. Noise was above what I was used to and so was the clutter of belongings. I felt like I had "company" in my house and I had to do this and that but that stopped fast when I realized, heck, it was my own kids!

Fast forward to Valerie in college now...we have just Mark, the cat and me in the house. So quiet. So peaceful. So oddly weird. So boring. So blah. So relaxing. You get the drift. Once a month we make the trip to pick up Valerie for a long weekend here and there and it's back to a houseful of kids. Valerie usually will have anywhere from one to three friends over and staying most of the time she is home. They go back and forth between the houses and I never know how many will be at mealtimes so I usually tell them what is for dinner and they will tell me if they will be here. Or I order pizza OR they make tacos. Sometimes they tell us they are eating elsewhere. It works out one way or another.

Now this Christmas break, I have had Jennifer, boyfriend, dog, Valerie, and 3 of her friends here ALL. THE. TIME. I am SO looking for that quiet, peace, relaxing and alone time. I can't stand the clutter, this and that out place. I am not, by any means, OCD, BUT..it is driving me crazy. They are HOME so yes they should feel like they can BE at home. Their rooms are cluttered just as if they were still living here...floor is barely there with all the stuff over it. Doors are nice to close, aren't they. They use dishes for everything and yes, they do put them in the sink. They do help in the kitchen at times. In fact, Jennifer and bf are cooking dinner tomorrow night. The dog will chew on things when left alone in the house for too long...good thing nothing he chewed on was mine! The cat and the dog do not like each other so Belle stays upstairs most of the time.

I look back and wonder if my house was one the places all the kids hung out if now I wouldn't care about the clutter, etc. I don't know and I am not stressing over it either. I know just as soon as next week comes and they ALL go back to college/their houses I will be missing them all like crazy. The clutter included. Well, maybe not the clutter.

My house will go back to quiet moments, and I will be thinking ahead to the next time they are all here.