Day one of "I have no job"

What does an unemployed one do on day one....shop LOL

Yep taking Val to the mall to get some "college" clothes. Whatever that means. It will be a nice day with her. 

Then off to the work to get my stuff from my office/room. I have a feeling no one still knows because I checked my work email to clean it out and save a few personal emails and there was one from the GED examiner letting me know I am getting a username/password for the testing system. Matter of time I guess before they know. Be nice to know what I need to do next. I guess on Friday I will call the main office and see what I am to do or it the VP knows yet. Anyway.....off to the mall!

Holy Crap on a Cracker, I QUIT my J-O-B

I made a decision today. I made a choice today. I made a change. I hope it was the right one in the end.

After much talking, discussing, and a lot of praying - I quit my job today.

I was never so nervous to do this...I knew it was what I wanted to do. The nerves came from me thinking I would cave when I actually got there to turn my letter in. My stomach had knots, butterflies and it was just about to toss the cookies I didn't eat! Valerie told me, "you can do this, Mom - Do you need me to drive you? Are you ok to drive?"

I drove myself. Met with my supervisor BRIEFLY as she was leaving to get her son but would call me when she got back. She told me if it was the right thing for me to do then she was behind me. I told her I wanted to go back to school and working full time wasn't going to get me my degree in a year and a half. It would take me twice that.

Well...to be honest here, the real reason is what I stated earlier in this blog. The slap I felt when they were going to put me in a different position that I felt was a step down. BUT I do WANT to go back to school too, so this was the "out" so to speak that I needed. I do need to find another job but I want to pursue this goal first.

In fact, I am calling tomorrow to make an appt with the Enrollment specialist at the college that I chose. She/He will help me decide what I want to be when I grow up.

I still have to go through all the exit interviews and process but that will happen. I left there saying "I just quit my job" and then the panic set in. And then the positive me said it again, "I quit my job"

Holy crap on a cracker!

Pet Peeves for today.

Ants. Had them in the living room...now I feel itchy.

Friends who ONLY call/text when they want something (hate this)

Cox cable and their internet

Did I mention Ants?

Not sure where I am going with this. It was on my mind.

Same Sex Marriages

Yep, time for another hot topic.  Probably thought I forgot about some of them.  Ha!  I've been thinking on this one awhile now.  I hear so many comments from people I know and don't know, their opinions and where they stand.  I read comments on blogs and FB of the same.  I refrain from commenting MOST of the time, simply because, as you are aware, I hate confrontation - most of  the time.  I am a peaceful person by nature. I wear my emotions on my sleeve for all to see and when I am adamant about something you will see it too.

NY passed the same sex marriages into law Friday night and I am thrilled for all those that are seeking this with their partners.  I know what the Bible tells us about this topic and I know there are some of you who will take me on about it too.  This is what I believe -

Ultimately, we all report to God and only He will pass down judgement to us for any sins he says we have committed.  No matter the sin, God is the final judge for all of us.

I feel you love who you love, you know when you have met "the one" and I don't think we have any right to deny that relationship.  If it works for you and you are happy, then that is what matters.  You only get one life and you should be  happy.  People should not condemn others for who they love.  Think about it, if you are against same sex relationships and condemn that person, look down on that person or treat them badly or different, how does that make you a good Christian?  How does that differ from a man-woman relationship that you don't approve of?

I also feel same sex relationships should be allowed to adopt children.  We let man-woman relationships adopt and look how some of those situations turn out.  Not saying that it could happen that way to some same sex ones but they should be given a chance to love and raise children as well.  It would be harder I am sure, but isn't raising a child of a different culture just as hard?  Heck, raising my own children proved to be  a challenge at times!

Same sex relationships should have the same benefits as a man-woman one - meaning being in on major decisions such as medical and insurance.

I know several couples who are gay and lesbian and call them friends.  Shoot, I think some of them have better relationships than a lot of man-woman do.

I am sure I am not totally up on all the pros and cons of this subject and I am fine with that...I know what I feel and what I think.

Conversations of the strange

My daughter and I have some strange conversations together.  At times, she is quick to save them in her phone for future use on her Tumblr blog.  I am glad I can be some source of inspiration (entertainment) for her.  So I thought I would share a couple of them.

Location - Kroger (yesterday)

Aisle - pasta and soup

Valerie proceeds to pick up two packages of Chili Ramen Noodles and it appears she is picking up a third (she has acid reflux so I try to limit her spicy intake)

Me: You better not be picking up three, two is enough.  If you do, I'll put one back

Val: Oh I'm shaking in my Keds now Mom

Me: Yea...darn tootin you are!

A few months ago:

Val: do you have friends?

Me: yep I've got all 10 seasons.

She laughed for a good long time with that one.

Motto

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I first read this quote it hit me.  It came at a time that I needed a kick.  Well, every day I try (really try) to live this quote. I fail often, but I continue to try. I have it posted on my desk at work and read it every morning.  I know it by heart now.  I read quotes often but never has one hit me like this one.

Every day there is something whether it is work related or personal that may cause stress or some issue. This quote tells me that no matter what it is, it will be there tomorrow so finish today the best you can and start again tomorrow.  Cut the crap out and be positive.

I am a work in progress (as we all are) so every day I start new and even though the issues or stress may be there still, starting the day new gives me new light on it and I can work towards a solution.  It works - most of the time!  It has made a difference when I was faced with a challenge at work with a coworker that happened to be my friend.  I had to distance myself from the situation and the friend or my job was going to be at risk.  The last thing I read at work this particular day was this quote and the next morning it was the first thing I read at work. It hit me - you know what you need to do.  I made my decision and stuck to it.  Come to find out (now months later) it was the right choice as this coworker was up to no good and my name was involved.

Is there a quote or saying that has affected you the same or one that has become your motto?

"Katy is a classic kind of skanky"

I know I know...the title may lead you to believe you shouldn't read on but trust me, it isn't what you think LOL

For those of you who may not know, my daughter, Jennifer has been in Costa Rica for the last 2 weeks or so - she is due home tomorrow (YAY!) and while she has been gone I have been driving her car.  In her car I found a few CDs so I stuck one in when there was nothing on the radio worth listening to.  I have been asking both girls to burn me a few songs when I hear them.  One was Fireworks by Katy Perry.  Now, keep in mind, I have heard a few other songs by this singer and liked those I heard.  The CD I played had Fireworks on it.  The first few songs were country and then some hip hop.  Katy came on next and I turned the volume up and jammed.  The next song came on and I didn't know who it was but I rather liked that one too.  It was playing as I was pulling into the driveway and so I called for Valerie to come outside.  I asked her who it was and she told me it was Ke$ha.  Well I have seen videos of her songs and wasn't fond of them.  I told her I liked this song and faster than I could have blinked she was text people telling them "My mom likes Ke$ha."  No just this song was my protest LOL.  She was rather shocked, I on the other hand was laughing. I always listen to their music and most of it isn't bad - both girls know what genres I like and do usually tell me in advance if I won't want to listen to their CDs LOL.

Flash forward to my birthday, you remember it was the day I got my bag of fish!  Anyway, Val gave me 3 CDs...All Time Low, Sara Bareilles, and Katy Perry.  I was excited to hear them all.  The next day I put them in the car and listened to Sara and loved it.  Later that evening I played the Katy one...O - M - G!!! I was like, holy crap on a cracker, is she really singing about losing her virginity and not knowing who was in her bed and a zillion other sexual things!! Yes she was!  I have to tell you, the beat and flow of the lyrics were great but not what I wanted to hear.  I called Val again and asked if she had listened to this CD...she said yes and was surprised that I wanted her CD.  I said Well I only like a few on there!  Wow.

Today we were getting in the car after a great lunch at ABC and she put in the All Time Low CD and I told her I really liked that one.

Val:  Better than Katy?

Me: yes but I still like that one song by Ke$ha, I am not fond of the picture their songs portray though

Val: Yea...Katy is a classic kind of skanky and Ke$ha is just a dirty dirty whore!

Ok now, understand, Val is probably one of the few teens that would wash my mouth out with soap if I said hell.  She hates cursing of any kind and I try very hard to respect that and when I blow it, I beg her to forgive me because I feel guilty LOL. So for her to talk like that I knew I must be listening to music that I should steer clear of LOL.

I still like the songs. Hehehe

Growing up it was Country music in the car when you were with my parents.  And at home on the stereo.  I could listen to my music in my room only LOL.  I don't recall them listening to anything I liked.  I guess maybe that's why I chose to listen to what the girls did so I could relate a bit better.  They really do have great taste in music.  Val will make me mixed CDs with the songs she plays that I like.  It's rather cool.

I can't wait to tell Jennifer that I like the Ke$ha song...I wonder what her reaction will be!

You got me what??

I wasn't sure I was going to blog this but it's good for a laugh, now that I can laugh about it that is. As most of you know, yesterday was my birthday.  I had a fabulous lunch with my good friend Elane (we missed our other good friend, Tracye though)  and my parents called to wish me happy birthday so it was nice to talk to them for a bit.  I got home and Valerie had made a wonderful cake, and had gifts.  Jennifer's gift she left before she went to Costa Rica was here too.  Hubby had his gift and a card with these other gifts.  Valerie gave me 3 CDs she burned for me that I had wanted.  More on the the Katy Perry one later!!!!!  She also got me a nice smelly candle.  Jennifer is the one who gave me the huge margarita glass and a note that she would bring me something back.  Both girls had funny cards too.

Well. Mark's gift.  Well. There was bag of Swedish Fish (candy) with a card.  I looked around thinking there was something else somewhere. Didn't see a blessed thing.  I looked at the card...which was telling me I was OLD. Like I needed reminded and from my husband no less!  I looked at the fish and here is the conversation that followed:

I said "you got me Swedish fish, huh?"

He said "well they didn't have the gummy bears you like"

Me:  fish, huh

Him: It's a five pound bag!!

Me: yes it is. Let's have cake, it looks wonderful

We ate cake and it was so yummy.  I kept thinking, he really didn't just get me a freakin bag of candy did he!! Oh yes he did!  No really he didn't!! Stupid, he did!! After cake, he fell asleep on the couch, now mind you I had to go back to work in a bit and we tend to use the break on the nights I work to catch up because I work late and he tends to be asleep when I come home.  So I am on facebook thanking all my wonderful friends for the birthday wishes while he snoring away.

I wake him up when it is time for me to go and said "did you really not know what to get me that you had to get a bag of candy?" He said, "what do you get the girl that has everything!" Everything hell.  I said, the new Danielle Steel book, or the last three of them!

I went to work, a bit upset, hurt and mad.  As the night went on of course it all became better but I am still in a bit of shock!  I came home early and we talked a bit and then I showed him what Elane got me...a little black apron (it is sooo stinkin cute!!!) I will have to take a picture of it LOL.  This is the conversation that followed:

Me: look, it's a little black apron...you know a take on the little black dress.  It's got the pearl necklace and lace too.

Him: so what you're saying is, She got you a  better gift than me

Me: Yes! She did!

Him: hmm...so what you're saying is, I didn't do well in the gift dept this year

Me: it's a bag of candy for your wife's birthday.  Candy down here, little black apron up here.

Him: wanna go fool around? wink wink.

So there you have it.  I can't stay upset with him for nothing for long.

Have you ever received a gift from your spouse/partner that you just were so disappointed with the amount of thought that went into it??   Please don't get me wrong, I appreciate my husband remembering the day and I do like Swedish Fish hehehe but....

Teenage Pregnancy.

On my way to work I had my next blog post - I should have known to write it down or text it to myself so I wouldn't forget it.  And it's not because I am one year older today that I forgot it. I forgot it because my mind is in 1 million directions.  That's my story and I am stickin to it!

Well, it isn't coming back to me so I am going to write about something else (duh!)

Teenage Pregnancy.

I get a lot of flack for my opinions on this topic.  The reality is...it happens all the time.  The teenagers come from all walks of life.

When I was in high school there were a few girls that were pregnant and like any other person I was shocked at first but again, it happens.  In fact, one of my best friends was pregnant in high school and she did not drop out like some of the others did.  She graduated right along with the rest of the class.

My oldest told me on a trip back from Walmart one evening about 5 years ago that her best friend was pregnant.  She was mad about it...told me how she was ruining her life, etc.  I stopped her in her tracks and told her it didn't have to be that way.  She should support her friend and see that she stays in school and continues with her goals.  A baby doesn't mean the end of the world!  My daughter got the hint.  Then I brought on the safe sex talk with her LOL.

Her friend did indeed graduate with Jennifer's class and is now happily married with another child and doing very well.  Several others in their class had gotten pregnant too.  And where I work I see it all the time.  They come in and act like that baby is stopping them from moving on.  I have a good talk with them and most of them see that it isn't.  Quite a few don't have the support from their parents and that is so sad to see.

My youngest has a friend that had a baby a year ago..same thing she didn't quit school. She was moving and the school she was going to go to wouldn't accept her credits so I told her to get her GED - she blew that sucker out of the water and now is finishing her first quarter in college.  Her family supports her as we do.

Granted they didn't have sense to not do what they did but they did it and our jobs as parents is to support our children.  Keep them from making bad choices and if they do, help them make better ones in the future.  I hate to hear parents act like their children did this on purpose to ruin their lives (meaning the parents) - um hello...you didn't birth that baby this time sister.  You can only ruin your life if you let things ruin it...in other words..stop acting like the world revolves around you and deal with it.

I know that if my girls were to tell me they were pregnant, I would be upset, hurt, disappointed and yes mad BUT after all of that, I would sit down and figure out where to go from this point.  I would be there for them all the way.  When you have children, you have to have unconditional love for them. I know I may put on my rose colored glasses from time to time but come on....if you have a support system you can do anything.

I also know some teens get pregnant on purpose, well my words of wisdom for them is...you wanted that seed planted now you have to nurture that bloom for 18 years.  Make wise choices.

The shows on MTV about teens and babies...take them off the air. I know they show some of the tough times teens have but they also pump it up and make it look easy too.

My main point here is...having a baby as a teen isn't the end of the world and they can succeed just fine in life and have a wonderful bundle to be proud of too. You have to have a support system and a plan...you can't just expect to live off your parents or welfare either.  HOWEVER, the better main point would be Slap that boy away and tell him NO.  But we all know that isn't always the way...

Well that is it for tonight...I think I am all over the map with this post but ya'll wanted me to post with a buzz.

So - I turn 45 tomorrow.

I don't feel 45 so that's good.  I am in a pissy mood so not sure how or where this post will go.  It's not the birthday that has me pissy.  I am beginning to think that hubby's attitude about various things has changed and it's annoying as heck lately.  I wonder if it had anything to do with the tumor being removed.  Eh, anyway...why would you ask me the day before my birthday what I want? How long has he known me that he can't figure out what I want.  Shoot when I want something I say it.  It's not the gift..it's the thought process he goes through with it.  Along with the attitude comes the whole "why are you stressing" ordeal he asks me.  Well, I haven't changed, I have always worried and stressed...and he used to be the logical one and calm me down.  Lately he just gets annoyed.  OK I can be annoying but come on...the doctor tells you to wean off the meds...so he said one week two pills a day...then one week one pill a day.  Dr Hubby knows better...fours days two pills a day...and now one..and he plans on stopping Wed.  And he wants to know why I stress.  I'd like to call him a jerk but I won't.  Can't he see he makes me stress...if doing something, like taking your phone with you when you go for a walk will reduce my stress and his annoyance with me...then wouldn't you just do it?!  Why give me a hard time.  I can't reduce my stress if the things that stress me are still there. Sorry got off topic ....back to the gift or idea of one.  Maybe he already has something you say...nah.  He shops last minute for everything.  Always has unless it is a gift I need to get for someone from us both.  I am annoyed with him and I don't dare say anything for I will start to cry and get mad and so will he and I dont want a horrible start to my birthday.  So I just sit here and ramble on about it till I feel a bit better.

I can't even remember what he got me for my birthday last year...sad on my part.  I am just so frustrated with him lately and I don't know if it is just me or both of us or just him.  He isn't acting like the guy I knew a few months ago.  If it was the tumor then I need to adjust my attitude and deal with this.  So that is what I will try to do and talk to him too but not at this moment.

My belief on pro-choice

Continuing my hot topics....abortions.

I've read all the pros and cons on this topic, medical facts and religious facts.  I had to do various term papers on this subject throughout college and I have to tell you I hated the paper I had to write for philosophy - we had to argue the opposite of what we believed.  That was a tough paper to write.

I am pro-choice, but I am against abortions in general. Before ya'll get your dander up - here is why.  Having an abortion should be a personal and private decision for each woman that may be in that situation.  Every woman should have that choice, in certain situations.  Just having one because you were stupid enough not to use protection is unacceptable.  You made that choice when you decided to get busy.  If the baby were to be born with birth defects, that is not a reason either.   I know there are people who say you either are for abortions or against them...you can't be both.  You can.  It doesn't mean you are heartless if you are for them, it is your right to believe what you will.  I imagine there are some strong minded people that are dead set against them but the fact is, until you are in a situation that have you to decide - you truly do not know.  The whole "walk in my shoes" theory.  I know a few young women who have been raped and got pregnant as the result...some had abortions and some did not.  That is a personal choice.  I do not agree with having an abortion in that situation, that baby is not at fault but I can understand why some women may choose to do so.  Abortion is not something I would do personally.  It is not for me.  But I wouldn't condemn you if you choose to have one based on your situation, I would support you the best way I could.

Church...to go or not and other thoughts

There are a few subjects that I tend to steer clear of when I post comments and when I do comment on those touchy subjects I do so very firmly.  I don't like conflict but I can hold my own if there is any.  Politics, abortions, one's sexual preference, and religion.  Yep.  All hot topics.  Everyone has their own opinions and some think it's the only opinion to have and if you don't have it, then you are a bad person.  I am not like that.  I think the next few blogs will be about my stand on these touchy subjects.  If you choose to comment and share your opinions, please remember this - it is your opinion just as I have mine.  Right or wrong.

Tonight, I think I will start with religion.  I believe in God. My whole being does.  From the time I was young I loved reading Bible stories and every night I would read one.  Sundays and Wednesdays were church days. I loved the church I belonged to growing up.  My parents weren't church goers but they never stopped me from going and went with me when I asked.  It wasn't that they didn't "have religion" because they both come from strong religious backgrounds.  I really never knew or thought to ask why they didn't, I just knew they supported me.  I stopped going to the church when I was in high school and I didn't really go back to one until my girls were about 7 & 9.  Once I got married,  Mark and I went to several churches and didn't find one that fit us so we just didn't go.  When he went overseas for a year, the girls and I  were invited to the church on base and we loved it.  It felt like family there.  They supported us and every week during the praise and prayer session, the girls would ask everyone to pray for their daddy who was in Korea.  They all "knew" him before he was even back.  Once he came home and went with us, he understood what we felt.  Well, as the military does, once you get used to something, they move you.  We moved to GA and haven't really  found another church that feels welcoming as that one in FL did.  So we stopped going but when invited to other's churches we go...because I know there is one out there for us.

Now that you have a bit of background, let me say this...

Some people believe you have to go to church to worship God. They also say you aren't a true Christian if you don't go to church. I do not understand that.  God is everywhere, so I can worship him anywhere I choose to.  I don't need a congregation to worship with me.  What I say to Him is my business.  I will admit, the closeness of the church family is awesome but if I can't find that again, I am OK.  I am sure I will.   So if you have to go church to worship God, what's with all the TV church shows, which is a whole other blog topic! I pray all the time...God knows my worries, my triumphs and He gives me the kick or boost I need when I need it.

Some people believe their chosen religion is the ONLY one to believe.  That's their right.  Please don't force it on me.  You are more than welcome to believe what you believe...that is what our military has fought for...freedom to believe what religion you want.  This brings me to the Muslim faith.  Not all who believe the Muslim faith are bad people.  I am sorry but so many people have been persecuted for their faith just because of who they are throughout history.  Not every German was bad.  Not every Muslim is a terrorist and they should not be treated like they are.  Those that are, yes indeed.  I totally understood it after 9/11 of course, we didn't know what was happening or who to trust but we need to remember that our God has got us covered.  I have students at the college I work at that are of all cultures and religions..it is a melting pot.  I listen to them and their stories and sometimes I am appalled at us - us meaning the World.  We Suck at times.  Anyway, my point is, your faith is yours.

I am a Christian. I am saved as is my family.  We know that God will take care of us forever.  That is all I need.

 

Favorite Teacher

With the upcoming Graduation at the college I work for some of the graduates came to pick up their cap & gowns and they always ask if their teacher is there.  They want to thank them, hug them, show them the cap & gown and just listen to the teacher (or anyone there) say "Way to Go!" They are ecstatic to be graduating.  For some, it has been a very long and challenging road, others not so much.  All of this has made me think of some of the teachers that made an impact on my life over the years.

My really first teacher that I remember was Mrs. Ridenour  from Hooverville Elementary...she really didn't start out to be a favorite but in the end she was pretty cool.  I remember her yelling at me for "talking" all. the.time.  Back in the elementary school day, you got O, S, or N on your report card.  I always got a N for talking too much and a N for Gets along with others.  She explained to me one day that if I kept talking all the time I would miss something she was teaching and it may be something I need in third grade or on a test.  By the end of the year I deemed her the "bestest teacher, ever!"

I moved after that year and had to go to a new Elementary school and would be in Summitview until I was ready to enter the world of junior high.  I remember this next teacher, not because she was my favorite, but because she told my parents something that I got into major trouble for.  I remember not many liked this teacher and I was no exception!  Mrs. Snowberger.  Man, she busted me at a parent/teacher conference.  You see, I told the class and her, that I had a sister that lived in Japan. So at said conference she asked my parents how their daughter was doing.  They looked at me, at her and each other and said to Mrs. Snowberger, "You tell us!"  The teacher, simply said this - "No, I mean your daughter that lives in Japan." Well, the look I got from my mother was the one you dread...you know the one..."wait till I get you home, you won't sit down for a week" look.  I had to come clean.  In the end, Mrs. Snowberger did me a favor. I wanted a brother or sister so my parents thought on this - and - got me a cat. Twinkles was with me till I moved and got married.  She hated me when I came home to visit after that, I left her after all. Bet my sister in Japan wouldn't hate me for leaving.

Mr. Porter was  next.  Sixth grade.  He taught me a life lesson with math.  Also had the biggest afro ever. I hated math. Word problems especially.  He enthusiastically told me, "Lisa, if you don't know how to do simple word problems, you will NOT succeed in life. Life is one BIG word problem." What the heck! I was 12!  Crushed me.  BUT I proved him wrong.  I learned those stupid problems and have succeeded in life pretty darn well. He was also the only elementary teacher I ever saw use the holy paddles on a kid in class.  Another life lesson learned there too.

Junior high, there were several that I have fond memories of...yep can't remember their names. Junior high wasn't fun.  Although, it is where I met my husband hehehe.  Oh one teacher, who I can't recall but taught science, taught me to say the word aluminum..up until that point, it was tin foil to me.

High school - Wow..this is tough.  No real top favorites but several ties.  The coolest, weirdest teacher had to be Mrs. McCormick, Spanish.  She taught us to curse in Spanish.  Mr. Ireland, well biology was fun as he was nice to look at!  Mrs. Glover was tough...she taught Marketing and Typing. My neck still hurts from her twisting my head to the "type" not the typewriter.  "Look at the print, not the machine."  I still catch myself hearing her say that in my head when I am typing.  Ms. White had me loving accounting so much that I wanted to be an accountant and did major in it in college at first too. Mrs. Hammond caught my attention every day in math...still hated the subject but she made it tolerable.   There are several more but I will stop boring you.

This was a fun trip down memory lane, well for me anyway.  If you stuck with me, you are wonderful!

 

Graduation

It's official.  I have no children in high school.  I have two in college now.  The end of May was my youngest's high school graduation.  It was just one more milestone in our lives that was both joyous and bittersweet.  Both sets of grandparents came in for the event as well as friends.  There was a new dress, shoes, and cake invited to the day. Pictures galore were taken and by the end of the session the tired smiles appeared.  You know the ones..."hurry up and take the freakin picture" smile.  Those were mainly done by the graduate.

One thing I noticed with this daughter's graduation was the comments from my older daughter who on that very stage as her sister was walking across she did so three years  before that.  Her comments were sweet...something I wasn't expecting I guess.  I cried as I did three years ago and was so happy for my baby...who by the way graduated with honors (21st in her class of 369.) She looked beautiful but also very relieved to be done with high school.  I wonder if she knows college is school too!  hehehe.

You can say I graduated that day as well.  It sank in that she is going to be leaving the nest in two months.  Not that she won't still need me (and my money) but that she will have to make decisions as an adult and without permission of her parents in some cases (not with my money!) It sank in that I will not be able to call her and say "let's go to the movies" or "what do you want for dinner."  It also sank in that she won' t be a room away when I want to borrow a CD or need her help with something on the computer.   It occurred to me that I was being selfish.  Well. Yes. I. Am. I did after all bring her into this world.

Today she drove to the college she has been accepted for Freshman Orientation.  This, too, was another graduation.  You see, until today, she has never driven on the interstate alone.  Usually someone was in the car with her and it wasn't on I-75 that does straight through Atlanta, where there is rarely a good time to drive to.  We routed the drive, had GPS and Google maps printed.  She was confident and I was a wreck. Back in April, she drove us to the same college for a tour and almost killed us...for real, no exaggeration. She learned from that she said.  I still was a major train wreck.  I prayed and tried to let God take it all but you know what, a mom's worry just doesn't stop.  She got there safely and I thanked God.  Funny thing was the GPS took her on back roads and it was less traffic and about 20 min faster.  God's hand in that one I say.

So she will be there till tomorrow afternoon, where at that time I will again be a train wreck of worry till she is home safely.  We have texted a bit tonight and it seems to be going good.  She did say she got a crappy dorm room LOL.  I can't figure that out though, we were one of the first to apply for housing said the housing office and they assure her that she would get her first or second choice but had to put a third.  She got the third. She will check into that tomorrow.

Empty nest hit this afternoon when I realized when I got home from work, she was not going to be home. This is not unusual as she often has plans and such but it made me think - this is what it will be like when she leaves for college.  I didn't like it.  I will get used to it I know.  When the oldest left, I was relieved as our relationship was strained and it was a break we both needed. Now we are very close and I love it. I don't want to lose the closeness I have with youngest daughter.

This summer will be a summer of Graduations for me.  Gosh. I am growing up too. hahaha.

If you had children that left the nest, how did you deal with the empty nest feeling?